Snowflakes
by KimahWakkaLu
Summary: Yuffie is sent to get greens for a chocobo who is preggers, and runs into Vincent! Probably will turn into a YuffiexVincent. Review please!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all! This is my first fanfic, so please bear with me and my not-so-good plot! Reviews are wanted, and critiques are welcome! Just no outright bashing please. I don't know if my heart could take the flames.**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story except for the plot. If I did, I would have every cosplay of Final Fantasy IN THE WORLD! muahahahaha!!

Chapter 1

Ugh. I hate snow. It's cold and wet and it gets down my shoes and shirt and shorts and socks, and I hate it. Though it's really fun to make snowmen and snowboard in it. And make snowballs. Especially when you're throwing them at Vincent. Nyuk nyuk. Ah, the good old days, when I would throw a snowball, then run and hide from the barrels of Death Penalty and Cerberus. But it's his own fault. He never picks up his phone, and when he does, he's always "…"ing or something like that. But you have to admit, he is pretty cute.

Anyways, Tifa sent me to the freakin' North Continent to get chocobo greens from the Chocobo Sage. Apparently we were running low on Sylkis Greens, and since Butterfly was expecting a little chocobo, Tifa ABSOLUTELY HAD TO HAVE Sylkis Greens.

So now I have to ride Sunny, my gold chocobo, over the stupid mountains, through the stupid snow, through some more stupid snow, and over some more stupid mountains. Needless to say, Tifa's not on my "favorite people in the world" list right now.

I was already past Icicle Inn when my PHS started buzzing. I checked the caller ID. Great, now what does Tifa want?

"What do you want, Boobs?"

"Hello to you too, Yuffie. I was just calling to tell you that I discovered some Sylkis Greens hidden in Denzel's room, so you don't have to go and get some more for me. Oh, and by the way, do you think you can get the groceries on the way back? I need some more milk and eggs."

"….."

"Yuffie?"

"&#&!!"

"Umm…. I'll hang up now."

"&#&!!"

"…." click

Grr… when I get back, I'm gonna whoop Tifa's ass sooo bad….. Oh wait. She'd snap me in half with those FREAKING STRONG arms. I swear, I'll never arm wrestle her again. Maybe I'll just steal some materia inste-

"Oof!"

"…"

"Oh, hi Vinnie. Whatcha doin' in a cold dismal place like Icicle Inn?"

"…"

"You're on a mission from Reeve? You know, you could just say 'no' to him. Or point one of your big-ass guns at him."

"…" Raised eyebrow.

"Shut up."

**What do you think? Please review!**

**hunny-chan**


	2. Chapter 2

**OMG. I actually got a reviewer! So for that, Silver Spirit 101, you have my eternal gratitude. Plus you get a GINORMOUS cookie. ) I don't know when i will update with another chapter. I haven't updated cause I was in Carmel without a computer, dying in a chair with a violin.**

Disclaimer: I own nothing of this story, just the plot. If I did, I would make orchestras illegal.

"Soooo…. What did Reeve send you here for?"

"…"

"Fine, don't tell me. I'll just find out myself when I stalk you wherever you go with my awesome ninja skills."

"…capture a felon."

"Oooh, what did he do?"

"…stole…."

"Stole…..?"

"…Reeve's jellybeans…"

"…"

"…"

"What a terrible crime that is."

"…"

"So, where you going to find this 'jellybean thief'?"

"…"

"I'll stalk you if you don't tell me. Once again with my supremely awesome ninja skills."

"…nearby forest…"

"Weeeell, since Tifa won't miss me for awhile, you have the privilege of being accompanied by the Great Ninja Yuffie!"

"…"

"I didn't want to go grocery shopping."

"…"

xXxXx

How long does this forest go on for? I swear we've been walking through this forest FOREVER. Why the heck would a jellybean thief hide in a forest in the middle of nowh-GAH!

"GROSSNESS!"

"…!"

OH MY GAWD! GIANT MUTANT PURPLE JELLYBEAN ALERT! Is it just me or did that thingy just ROAR at me?

"GRAWGH!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"GAH!! DIE!!"

A man jumped out from behind the purple jellybean, and started to laugh crazily at me and Vinnie's efforts to kill the mutant candy. Heeeeeeeeeeeey, that white coat looks familiar…….

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Me and my jellybeans will rule the world! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

A couple minutes later, we were still trying to kill the bean, and the guy was still laughing.

"That's not very catchy, is it? 'I stole the president of the WRO's jelly beans for world domination'?"

"…"

"Yeah, I know we have to kill it." But how?

I thought about the choices I had. The jellybean looked like it would absorb any magic thrown at it. Materia is out. Awww, and I wanted to show off some of my new materia I had "gotten" for restacking the materia in the materia store…I had some Potions, some Bolt Plumes, and…. OH! I know!

"MUAHAHA!! TAKE THIS! WUTAIAN STINK BOMB!"

BOOM.

"…."

"Ehehehehe….. that wasn't supposed to happen….."

"NOOOOO MY JELLYBEAN!!"

"…"

"What? It's not like I knew that it was going to explode…"

"…"

"I promise to take you to a really good dry cleaner so we can get these purple jellybean guts off of us. After we tie up Mr. Loony over there."

"…"

"Maybe you should give some of that stuff to Reeve. So he can bury it and give it a funeral or something."

"…"

"GROSSNESS! There's no way I'm touching that. Use a plastic bag or something."

"…"

**You like it, yes? no? review review review! It's good for your soul! )**

**hunny-chan**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay! 3rd chapter! Woot! Time to pass out the cheese!**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Square Enix does, otherwise I would have a really good quality Vincent cape!

Oh my gawd. We took a boat from the North Continent to Midgar, and I was struck with a really bad case of motion sickness. Therefore, I was throwing up over the sides of the boat for Leviathan-knows-how-long. Sometimes, Vinnie would be sweet and hand me a fizzy drink. Otherwise, he would just stand by and watch me suffer. Mr. Loony had to be sedated due to maniacal screaming and shrieking. But, really, how does he keep on screaming without losing his voice?

Luckily, we're now back at the WRO headquarters now. I'm never going on that hellboat ever again. Urgh…. Just thinking about it makes my stomach roll.

"Oog… I hate boats."

"…"

I haven't been to visit Reeve ever since I started to help Tifa out with her bar, have I? Oh well, I'm visiting right now. He should be grateful that the Great Ninja Yuffie takes time off to visit him at all.

"So… do you want to tell him, or should I?"

"…"

"Actually… you can tell him. It was your mission, after all. Got your bag of purple goop?"

"…"

"Good."

Reeve looks really….stressed. Must be the lack of jellybeans.

"Hiya, Reeve! How's Cait doing?"

"Hello, Yuffie. This place has been so dull without you dropping water balloons on the soldiers. Cait is doing very well."

"…"

"Oh, hi Vincent. I didn't see you there. What happened to my jellybeans? I need them to do my paperwork, you know. That's why I sent you on such an important mission. And who's that behind you?"

"…thief."

"Then where are the beans?"

"…"

I will never forget Reeve's face when Vincent showed him the remains of his candy. He looked like he swallowed a mixture of prunes and sour milk.

"…"

"Umm… Reeve?"

"…"

"…"

"EYAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

"Vinnie?"

"…?"

"I think we should leave."

"…"

"And I think we should take Crazy Bum over here before Reeve cuts out his entrails and feeds them to the dogs."

"…"

xXxXx

Yay! I made it back to Tifa's bar! Oh, and Vince came with me cuz he had nothing else to do. Well, I actually kinda dragged him with me, but oh well! Same difference.

"Yuffie! Where were you? Cloud and I were worried sick!"

"Yeah, right. You were probably just wishing I was back so you didn't have so much work to do around the bar."

"…"

"Oh! Hi, Vincent. Do you want to come inside and get something to drink?"

"…"

"I'll take that as a yes."

Hmm, I wonder how Spike and the kids are doing. Cloud's probably off somewhere delivering something, and Denzel and Marlene are probably being crazy children and eating tuna with clam chowder. Actually, I just totally made that up, but whatever.

"Auntie Yuffie!"

"Oof!"

"Auntie Yuffie, I need help with my math homework!"

"Me too! And I need someone to help me with my history homework!"

Oh, goodie.

"Vinnie, I hope you know that you're coming with me. I sure as heck don't know anything about history.

"…"

**I hope you don't mind, but I have no idea where this plot is going. I'm open to suggestions.**

**LEVIATHAN SAYS THAT YOU SHOULD REVIEW. WHY? CAUSE HE SAID SO.**

**hunny-chan**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay, another update. I'm soooo sorry I haven't updated in a while. Too many essays shoved in my face. :( I LOVE YOU ALL FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME ANYWAYS! Muahahahaha. And cuz I felt like I was neglecting the other members of AVALANCHE, I decided to try to incorporate all of them into the story someday, somehow. Oh, and has anyone else wondered how the members of AVALANCHE actually became members? Cuz I don't remember anyone actually having them officially join AVALANCHE. Unless they're all unofficial member? And what happened to Barret being the leader and all? Not that I mind that Cloud is the leader now. And who is that mysterious 4th Turk in Advent Children who catches Rufus with those gun-net-thingies? He looks like Tseng to me. But didn't Sephy kill him? So many questions... Tell me what you think!**

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN FINAL FANTASY 7 BLAH BLAH BLAH. IF I DID, I WOULD CREATE A CHOCOLATE RENO FACTORY AND ALL Y'ALL WOULD BUY THEM AND EAT THEM WHILE READING FANFICS. MUAHAHA.

Gah. History is definitely one of my least favorite subjects EVER. How would I know about the wacko guys who went to war with each other about chocobos? Luckily, Vinnie saved me with his super duper oldness. Nyuk nyuk.

Finally out of the evil clutches of history homework, I'm helping Tifa was the dishes. Tifa's upstairs helping the kids with their math homework, seeing as I couldn't help them at all. The door opened behind me and Cloud walked in.

"Hey, Spike!"

"Hey yourself. Where's Tifa?"

"Upstairs helping the kids with their math homework.

"Why? No, let me guess. You couldn't help them so you called Tifa to help them instead?"

"Ehehehehe…"

"You're hopeless."

"Eh, Shut up. So, where were you?"

"At Costa de Sol."

Why? Getting a tan?"

"..."

"NO WAY. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

"..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I can't..haha...breathe...haha..."

"If my eyes could shoot stuff by glaring, I would be shooting fireballs at you."

"Yea, but then I'd catch them with my ninja chopsticks of PWNY!"

"...If you tell Tifa, I'll kill you. Slowly."

"Got it, Spike. Nyuk nyuk."

xXxXx

Eh, it's opening time. Again. Gah, I hate dealing with drunks. Oh look, Vince's here.

"Hey Vinnie."

"..."

"I have a question."

"...?"

"Are you albino?"

"...?"

"Cuz you have red eyes and you're really pale. And cause I was talking with Cloud yesterday. About tans."

"...?"

"I'm sure he thought it would make him look hot. Hehehe."

"...?"

"Well, he did tell me not to tell Tifa, but you're not Tifa."

"...?"

"STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS! Answer my question first."

"..."

"Eh, you are? Then why are you always avoiding the sun? It's not like you can get a tan. Unless you actually are a vampire."

"...?"

"You know, the things with fangs that suck out your blood and can turn into bats and are killed with a stake through the heart and sleep in coffins and don't like going out in the sun?"

"..."

"Shut up. Answer the question."

"..."

"Is that all? Cuz not going out into the sun because the clothes you wear are red and black is pretty sad."

"..."

"Hey, I was wearing black and white clothes for over a year! (A/N Yea, this is from Advent Children.) It wasn't that hot."

"..."

"DON'T YOU DARE SLUR MY TANK TOPS AND SHORTS!"

"..."

"Mopey jerk. Your cape looks like you fed it to the dogs and then you bled all over while you were attacked by a purple dinosaur. Like Barney."

"..."

"SILENCE YOU IMBECILE!"

"..."

"Learned it from playing video games. Nyuk nyuk." (A/N Anyone remember Maleficent from KH2?)

"..."

**Oh no, the end of the chapter. Whatever shall you do now? **

**REVIEW! **

**review- a critical article or report, as in a periodical, on a book, play, recital, or the like; critique; evaluation. **

**Yupperdoodles!**

**hunny-chan**


	5. Chapter 5

**We have another chapter! Yay! Yum, cookies galore! Delicious yum yum! **

Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything and you know I don't own anything so please don't sue me!

Ugh. I had a nightmare. It was about the Midgar Zolom and it ate all of my cats and my materia and my Conformer and my super-awesome shoes and Cloud's Fenrir. And then it got cold and it looked at me and it opened its mouth and it had really really really sharp teeth and it was going to eat me!! Brrrr…… I think I'm going to take a break from helping Tifa babysit the kids and take care of the bar and go kill some Midgar Zoloms.

xXxXx

I'm finally out of the bar and in the swamp. I had to sneak out without Marlene and Denzel noticing so they wouldn't tell Tifa. Then I had to take Sunny out and ride to Chocobo Billy's farm to get an extra chocobo. I didn't want to let Sunny get Zolom guts like I did jellybean guts. Bleargh…

Oh, hey, my PHS's ringing.

"Hello?"

"Yuffie! Where are you?"

"Why, Tifa, I'm at the bar taking care of the kids. Like always."

"No, you aren't."

"And how would you know that?"

"Because I'm at the bar right now."

"Really? That's very interesting."

"Yuffie! I need help with the kids!"

"Well, get Cloud to help you. I'm taking a vacation. Nyuk nyuk."

"I'm going to send someone out to find you and bring you back. If I don't find Cloud first."

"Jeez, you're like a stalker person. So creepy."

"I can't babysit the kids and bartend at the same time!"

"You did before without me. Have fun." _Click._

I hope she doesn't send someone competent to come find me. I haven't even killed one Zolom yet…..Hey, look there's one!

"Muahahaha!! Die you evil materia-cat-Conformer-shoe-eating thingy!"

"RAWR!"

**This chapter was really random and short, the cause being that I was playing FFVII again and I was really really bored. The solution to that was to run around and around and around the marsh over and over and over again. The Zolom went "RAWR!" and I went "RAWR!" and I killed it. Yay! Yup, so I'm still open to suggestions about the plot, people! If you have any ideas, please tell them to me in a review! Otherwise, please review anyways! Me and my moogle muse thrive on reviews! **

**hunny-chan**


	6. Chapter 6

**hello, my fellow fans! i have just been dazzled by my lovely reviewers, though there aren't a lot, and the lovely people who re****ad this story! And my amazing piano teacher who I never knew could sight read so well! Well, you learn something new every day! On with the story!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy cuz if I did, I wouldn't be writing this. I would be trying to mutate chickens into chocobos. Actually, no, I wouldn't cuz that would not be cool. I would get millions of eggs and hope that one of them hatches a chocobo.

So, now I'm back at the bar, and Tifa didn't have enough time to yell at me, because it's the drunkard hour where all the idiotic perverts and who knows who else come in. Apparently including Cid, who just walked in the door.

"Hey, Cid."

"Hey, brat."

I gave him his cup of beer.

"Soooo…how's Shera?"

"Doin' good."

"Touchy, are we?"

"Hn."

"Don't you dare go all Vincenty on me. So, what's up?"

"Stupid fuggin' amateur helping me build an engine for a new airship."

"Aaaand….?"

"Idiot broke the whole thing. Dropped it."

"Ah. I see."

"Shut up and gimme my booze."

"Yeah, yeah."

So, now Cid is slowly drinking himself into oblivion, Tifa is waiting on drunks, and I have no one to annoy. Heeey….I have an idea.

"Oh my gawd, Cid! Is that the guy who broke your engine I see standing at the door?"

"WHAT? WHERE?! I'M GONNA KILL THAT #y&!!"

Nyuk nyuk. Too easy. Now lemme just change that booze with this little drink right here…

"So, did you catch him?"

"No, the fuckin' bastard got away."

"That's too bad."

"Bastard. Now I'm thirsty from running after the son of a bitch."

"Why don't you drink some of your beer? I'm sure you'll feel better." And hopefully you're too drunk to notice that your drink changed color…

"BLEH! I NEED A FUCKIN' BATHROOM!"

"Hehehehe….."

xXxXx

Wow. Cid's lookin' really pale. Maybe it's from puking his guts out into the toilet. Maybe I should feel guilty…nah, he needed to get all that alcohol out of his system anyways.

"You okay?"

"Ugh. Fuckin' hangovers."

"It's probably cause you drink and smoke too much."

"Huh. Maybe I'll take a day off…"

"Yeah, you should! Unless, of course, you want to have some of Tifa's hangover remedies? I hear they work really well."

"NOO!! That shit taste so bad I'll just start throwing up all over again!"

"Okay then. Tell Shera I said hi!"

"Bye, brat."

xXxXx

The bar's closed, and Marlene and Denzel went to bed. I'm washing the dishes again and Tifa's probably off somewhere writing a love letter to Cloud while he tries to look macho. With a tan. Nyuk nyuk.

"…"

"Oh, hey, Vinnie!"

"…"

"Did ya know? Today Cid came over and was drunk and he drank something and for some strange reason he started throwing up!"

"…"

"Don't look at me like that. At least it wasn't you throwing up."

"…"

"Come to think of it, can you throw up? Or are you indestructible in your stomach too?"

"…"

"Fine, don't answer my question. Oh, and today I was hunting Midgar Zoloms cause they ate my Conformer and my shoes and my cats and my materia and I don't remember what else."

"…"

"Hello? Is there anyone there? It would be nice if you said something, Vinnie."

"…"

"And if you do, you better not be like Cloud and say 'something.' As in the word. Cause that wouldn't be very nice."

"…"

**Aww, the end of another chapter. I'm afraid Cid got a little out of character there. And Yuffie is being a little mean. Oh, and has anyone else noticed that Yuffie changes clothes the most amount of times out of all the characters in FFVII? Not including Cloud in KH. Square must like her a lot!**

**uniFsky: I thought it would really be likely that Yuffie would get drunk, but I didn't think that she would actually jump off of Da Chao with or without a parachute now that she's older. Nevertheless, I loved your idea! so I used the drunk part. Yay!**

**Yuffie: Hey! How come I'm likely to be drunk?!**

**me:umm.. What are you talking about? I said I'M likely to be drunk. cowers away from Conformer ehehehehe...**

**Yuffie: Well, now all the readers have to review! Or else I'll tie the author up and you won't have a story anymore!**

**me: NOOOOOOOO!! NOT MY STORY! TAKE ANYTHING ELSE, PLEASE! **

**Well guys, you heard her. SAVE ME AND MY STORY FROM HER!! REVIEW!**

**hunny-chan**


	7. Chapter 7

**YO! How's life? Sorry if this chapter seems kinda weird. I'm kinda sleep/hunger deprived because of homework. And my moogle muse, Choco, is just floating around and randomly popping stuff into my head. Yes, my muse is named Choco. WHAT? YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?! Anyways...TIME TO PASS OUT COOKIES! Anybody who's reading this gets a Reno cookie. hands out cookies And Silver Spirit 101 gets another cookie hands out a Vincent cookie cuz he or she (I honestly don't know. Please don't be offended!) put me on his or her Favorite Authors list! YAY! throw confetti And uniFsky gets a Yuffie cookie, a chocolate cigarette (in honor of Cid), and a trophy with REVIEWER WHO REVIEWED THE MOST! I wonder why... Dread Pirate Sephy and Denzel Cool Boy get extra Reno cookies for reviewing. JessiciaO-O gets a Cait Sith cookie for putting this story on her favorites! And Silver Spirit 101. And last but not least, namelessanomoly gets a Red XIII cookie for putting this on (oh crap) his or her story alerts. And (again) Silver Spirit 101 and uniFsky. Don't you just love cookies? Maybe I should hand out candy instead...  
**

Disclaimer: If I actually owned all the Final Fantasy stuff, do you really think I would be sitting here writing FANfics? notice the "fan" in fanfic.

Reeve called earlier this morning, and I hung up on him. It's waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy too early to be taking any missions. But the bad thing is, he's been calling me nonstop ever since, and now I can't go back to sleep. Oh, screw this. I'll just pick up the goddamn phone.

"What the hell, Reeve? Do you have any (in idea what time it is? Somebody better be trying to destroy the world if you're calling me this early."

"Hello, Yuffie. I need you to go to the Temple of the Ancients and get some of Cait's old parts for me where he was destroyed."

"…Lemme get this straight. You want me to get out of bed at six o'clock in the morning, and go halfway around the world so that you can get parts for you damn porn puppet?"

"Disregarding the porn puppet part, yes."

"And why the hell would I do that?"

"Because I need some stuff that I stored on the first Cait Sith's memory, and it's very important. And I'm going to give you some nice materia if you go."

Ooh…materia…

"I'm almost convinced."

"You'll get paid. And I'll send Vincent with you, seeing he's still at the bar."

"Ah, fine then. You owe me!"

"Yes, yes, I know."

xXxXx

I'm standing outside of Vincent's door. Should I just go in or should I just knock? I guess since I'm feeling nice today, I'll knock.

SLAM SLAM SLAM.

"Wakey, wakey, Vincent!"

He's not getting up! Grrr…. He's going to regret ignoring the Great Ninja Yuffie!

"Vinnie! If you don't open this door in 5 seconds, I'm gonna break it and you'd have to get Tifa another door!"

Why isn't he opening the door?! I wake up at 6 in the morning, and this is how I get treated!

"5…4…3…2…1!"

BAM.

"Vincent! Wake your lazy ass up right now!

"Hn."

Fine, if he's going to be that way, I'm going to jump on his bed.

"Vinnie! bounce Wake bounce UP! bounce"

"Hnn."

"You had enough sleep in your stinkin' coffin! WAKE UP!!"

Finally! He got up. I never imagined Vincent, of all people, to be a person who would be really hard to wake up.

"Vinnie! You're finally awake! We have a mission!"

"…What?"

"Hey, you said something! Anyways, we gotta go to the Temple of the Ancients to get Cait's memory for Reeve!"

"…" Whooooaaa. I'm really glad I'm not Reeve right now. Vince looks PISSED. Which is really scary.

"Ehehehe…So…I'll see you downstairs! Hurry up and get ready!"

"…"

xXxXx

"Vinnie! Why the hell did you take so long?"

"…"

"It doesn't take that long to get dressed!"

"…"

"Well, you can take the claw off, then! It's not glued to your arm! And don't tell me it is, cause I know better!" (A/N yes, his claw is not attached to his arm. it is removable. his character designer announced that his arm and his boots are not attached to him. i forgot where i heard this from, but i did. so there.)

"…"

"Fine, change the subject. Wh-HEY! Wait up!"

"…"

**I feel Yuffie's pain... My sister is MUCH MUCH MUCH harder to wake up then Vincent. When she falls asleep, she's like...dead to the world... **

**Review, please! I know uniFsky isn't the only person out there reading this! Without reviews, Choco and I will slowly die of thirst... and then the story would die with us.**

**Not that I'm pressuring you to review. It's just for the better good. Or is it the greater good?**

**hunny-chan  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**HAPPY BELATED HALLOWEEN! I would have updated on Halloween, but we had a looooong orchestra rehearsal. And then yesterday there was a looooooong concert. So today, I'm passing out candy to all the readers! Yum! Oh, and this chappie is dedicated to my dearest sister who moved away to San Francisco!**

Disclaimer: Do I really have to do this?

Sooo….. Me and Vince are out in the Temple of the Ancients getting the first Cait Sith, probably because Reeve had some weird directions on how to make an apron on Cait's memory and he needed it or something like that. The point is, I'm doing another mission for Reeve and Vinnie is with me and I get materia for doing this.

VIIIIIIIINNNNIIIEEEEE!!!! When are we gonna find Cait, anyways? We've probably already been through this whole temple 5,000,000,000 times. Not to mention that evil place where you go into one cave and come out another and we had to chase that guy who couldn't talk and it took forever cuz Cloud kept forgetting where he was coming out of and which cave led to which etc. etc.!"

"…"

"Heeey… That's a good idea. He probably is at the place where he was destroyed, huh."

"…"

"WHAT? YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO MY FACE?!"

"…no."

"…eh? You just said something! Oh my gawd, did you really just open your mouth and utilize you vocal cords to speak?!?!?!?!"

"……."

"Great, now you stopped talking."

"…."

"By the way, when's your birthday?"

"…"

"Cause I'll tell you my birthday if you tell me yours! But you have to promise that you don't tell anyone else about it."

"…December 14."

Blink. Blink. "Did you just really honestly tell me your birthday?"

"…yes."

"Woooww… I didn't know that you'd actually tell me your birthday…"

"…"

"What? Oh right, my birthday."

"…"

"Shut up. March 24. Ugh, I'm a spring child."

"…?"

"Spring is an ugly season. I hate spring. Well, no not really. The cherry blossoms come out in spring."

"…"

"We're getting off-track here! We're supposed to be looking for Cait!"

"…"

"Oh hey, look, it's….what looks like it could have been Cait before the temple collapsed on him."

"………….."

Oh god, it looks…..horrible. Like a metal form of Jenova. And it's all covered in rust and moss and gross stuff.

"Ewwwww….. You wanna get that?"

"…"

"Well, you're getting it anyways."

"…"

"Don't give me that dirty look!"

"…"

"Oh, be quiet. Let's just take the thing and go."

"…"

xXxXx

"Well, we're back at headquarters. Never thought I'd be doing missions again, but materia is materia."

"…"

"Reeve said he'd give me materia if I went."

"…"

"Weeelll, no, not exactly. He did offer me something else."

"…?"

"…"

"…?"

"…"

"…Yuffie."

"…"

"…Yuffie."

"…um."

"…"

"Ehehehe… that's a pretty gun you have there…"

"…Yuffie."

"GAWD! OK FINE! HE SAID THAT YOU WOULD GO WITH ME! SHEESH!"

"…"

"Don't mouth off or I'll kick your butt into next Wednesday."

"…I wasn't."

"Oh."

"…"

"Well, this is awkward. Let's go get my materia!"

"…"

xXxXx

"REEVE! You better have some damn good materia if you got me up that early this morning. And they better be mastered."

"…"

"Hello Yuffie, Vincent. Did you get Cait?"

"…"

"Ummm.. yeah that's what he looks like."

"Hmmm…. I'm gonna have a hard time to get the memory out of this…thing."

"…"

"So, out of curiosity, what did you need it for?"

"Oh, there was an old recipe to bake chocolate chip cookies that my grandmother used."

"…"

"WHAT?! YOU GOT ME UP AT 5 IN THE MORNING FOR A STINKING COOKIE RECIPE!?!?!?!?!"

"Whoa, what's the lassie up to?"

"Hello, Cait."

"…"

"Hiya, Vince. Hey, Ree- WHAT IS THAT ON THE TABLE?!?!?!"

"Umm.."

"OH MY GOD IS THAT ME?!?!?!"

"Ummm…..yes?"

"EYYAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Uh….so…Reeve! Gimme my reward."

"Er…sure… a mastered Bolt, mastered Earth, and a mastered Cure. Oh, and 15,000 Gil."

"…"

"Oh, and make sure to share with Vincent, Yuffie."

"What are you talking about? Vincent IS part of my reward, you know."

"…"

"Oh. I see. Well, enjoy that Gil! I must go and bake my cookies."

"Later, Reeve!"

"…"

**Aww... it's the end of the chapter! Soooo... now I have a question for all you readers! Should I write a belated Halloween chapter, or should I just continue with something else? Review and tell me! And I was recently looking at my story traffic, and I found out that I had 956 hits. But I only have 11 reviews. And that makes me sad.....**

**hunny-chan**


	9. Chapter 9

**OMG I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN LIKE, FOREVER! if you want my excuses, they're up on my profile. i'm waaaay too lazy to list them here. oh yes, and expect an update on Vincent's birthday! cuz if there isn't one, i'm gonna mentally strangle Choco. or use the "angry cats" technique from Have I Ever Steered You Wrong? **

Disclaimer: god, these are annoying.

Oh. My. Gawd. I woke up from the coolest dream EVER. See, Vincent was soooo old, older than he is now, and he totally invented the ability of how to walk. Or was it talk? I don't remember. Don't you just hate it when you try to remember your dreams, and it's just on the tip of your tongue, and then you forget it? Anyway, back to the dream.

Shelke was playing the ukelele, and there was a ginormous pool, where this giant-troll-water-living-person-thing lived. It was kinda creepy, cuz it had really long arms and it kept trying to reach out and grab us. Yea, I know, I have random dreams. And you know what? I think I'm gonna bug Vincent and tell him about my dream. Lucky I have the day off. Actually, lucky I annoyed the hell out of Tifa until I got the day off.

"Hey, Vincent."

"…"

"Did you know, I had this totally cool dream with you and Shelke in it."

"…really."

"Yeah. And there was this giant troll, etc. thing in a giant pool."

"…"

"And you were really old."

"…"

"No, seriously, I mean like old old, like thousands of years old. Cripes, that's old."

"…"

"And you apparently were so old, you invented walking."

"…"

"And Shelke was a musical genius with a ukelele."

"…"

"I think that dream totally changed my perspective of you two."

"..."

"You know, it would be nice if I got a response. 'Yuffie, this is SO fascinating.' 'Why, yes, Vincent, it is.' Something like that? A conversation?"

"…fascinating…"

"Hey! I heard that sarcasm!"

"…hn."

"You suck, Vinnie."

If he sucked, then why was I grinning like an idiot?

**awww! sorry this chapter is so short. it was just floating around, and i just felt like i had to put it up. sucky as it may be. and because i had a similiar dream last night. and it was really really cool. i think there were the vampies from the twilight movie, too. which i saw, by the way. and i couldn't stop laughing. don't get me wrong, i love twilight. but the movie.... and everybody reading this who considers themselves mature and deep ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO watch the movie, changeling. it was the saddest/best movie EVER. and holy crap, i just reread my summary, and it SUCKS BUTT. should i change it?**

**REVIEW! if i get enough reviews, i just might update faster next time!**

**hunny-chan**


	10. Chapter 10

**Yo fo shizzle! I updated, like I promised! I might update again today, I might not. It depends on how noisy my sister's friends are downstairs. Yes, and starting from 12/22/08 to 2009, don't expect any updates, because I will not be at home with a computer. I'M GONNA HIT THE SLOPES!!! YEAHHHH!!! WOOO!!! snowboarding~ snowboarding~ Don't worry, I'll be thinking of you while I do.**

Disclaimer: *singing along with her iPod* lalalalala~

AUGH! VINNIE'S BIRTHDAY IS IN TWO DAYS AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!!! Time to go bug Tifa until she organizes a party while I distract Vince from ever suspecting that we're throwing a party. Cuz we are. No matter what Tifa says.

"Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

"What?"

"I need you to help me plan a surprise birthday party!"

"Depends. For who?"

"Vincent."

"…"

"Hello? Tifa? You still in there?"

"…Vincent? As in gloomy-red-cloaked-gunner-Vincent? Who doesn't talk to anybody?"

"Yes?"

"OMIGOD HE TOLD YOU HIS BIRTHDAY?!"

"Ummm… yes?"

"OMIGOD WE TOTALLY HAVE TO DO THIS PARTY!!"

"Riiight.. Ok, well I'll go…get Reeve to send me on a mission. With Vincent."

"Okay. I have to invite Cid and Shera, and Barret, and Marlene, and…"

"While you do that, I'll be going to the WRO headquarters. Laters!"

xXxXx

"REEEEEEEEVEE!"

"Hello, Yuffie. Do you need something?"

"I need you to give me and Vincent a mission. To Gongaga, for example. Somewhere faaaar away."

"Why?"

"Because it's his birthday in two days and Tifa's organizing a birthday party for him and it's supposed to be a surprise."

"Ah. I see. Then, I'll send you to Cosmo Canyon tomorrow. You should tell Red about it, since he is the farthest one away."

"Gotcha! See ya later, Reeve!"

"Bye, Yuffie."

xXxXx

"Aha! I found you, Vincent!"

"Yuffie."

"No time, Vince. We gotta go to Cosmo Canyon tomorrow. I gotta talk to Red, and you…gotta go clear out fiends. Red's having a _real _tough time with them."

"Hn."

"Right-o! Let's go check out the metal pukebox that Reno claims is a helicopter! Do you think he'll mind if I puke all over it?"

"…Probably."

"Party pooper."

xXxXx

So, now we, as in me, Vincent, and Reno, are in Cosmo Canyon after riding in Reno's stupid helicopter. That copter is probably the hellboat that I rode back to headquarters in with Vince, but transformed into a helicopter. Bleargh… Just thinking about it makes me wanna puke.

"We're here, brat."

"No shit, Sherlock. Why don't you go get drunk and hit on girls?"

"Why, that's not such a bad idea."

"Yeah, I know. Come on, Vincent. We're gonna go see Red!"

"Yuffie, I'm right here."

*glomp* "Red! I haven't seen you in, like, forever!"

"Can't… breathe…Vincent…"

"Yuffie. Let him breathe."

"Oh. Sorry. Anyways, I gotta talk to you, Red. Vinnie's here for the fiend infestation."

"What?"

"You know, the infestation that you called Reeve about a couple of days ago?"

"I…Ah. I see. Very well, Vincent, come this way. I will be with you in just a minute, Yuffie."

xXxXx

"So, Yuffie, what is this all about?"

"Well, first off, you suck at interpreting body language. Second, it's Vinnie's birthday tomorrow and there's gonna be a party, so you have to go. Oh, and don't tell Vincent. It's supposed to be a surprise."

"I see. Well, if I am to leave today, I must get everything ready. I will need a couple of hours, so we'll meet at the entrance in a bit, okay?"

"Gotcha. I might as well go shopping for a present. Catch you later!"

xXxXx

Okay. Now for the difficult part of all this. Shopping for a present. Hmmm… I wonder what he likes… I think I'll call Shera about this.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Shera. How's Cid?"

"Hi, Yuffie. Cid's doing great. What do you need?"

"Well, I need advice for a present."

"Okay. Is it a guy?"

"Uh… yeah."

"Ohh.. I see." I can practically see her smirking over the phone.

"Shera! Just help me, please?"

"Okay, okay. What kind of guy is this?"

"Well, he's nice. And he's really quiet. And he doesn't open up much. And whenever something bad happens, he blames himself and tries to everything himself. And he's really old fashioned. Is that good?"

"Well, have you tried getting him something like a book? He sounds like the educated type."

"No, I want to give him something special. Something that nobody else would give him."

"Hmm… I don't know…"

"Oh! Nevermind, Shera. I was just struck with an awesome idea!"

"Okay. Well, I hope he likes it."

"Thanks, Shera."

"Anytime."

Hehehe… If I get started now, I might even get done before tomorrow. No time to waste! I must go to the store to buy the things I need!

**Whoa, this is like, the 10th chapter of Snowflakes! Guess what that means! ICE CREAM CAKES FOR EVERYBODY! YAY! I'm sorry, I'm really hyper today. I had, like, 5 cups of coffee before breakfast, and like, 2 cups before lunch. So I'm very caffienated. Heeheehee!**

**Review, please!**

**hunny-chan**


	11. Chapter 11

**Oh. My. Freaking. God. I. Am. SOOOOO. Sorry. I'M SOOOO SOOOOORRRYYYYYY!!!!! My computer crashed and I tried fixing it.... It still isn't fixed, so I'm doing this from one of my school's computers. This A/N is gonna be short, cuz I don't think I'm allowed to do this at school but whatever. Thanks to all the reviewers and readers!**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even this computer I'm using.

Me, Red, and Vinnie are now speeding our way back to Edge on an airship, courtesy of Foul-Mouthed-Cid-Who-Really-Needs-To-Stop-Smoking-Before-Shera-Kicks-Him-Out. Reno had already gone back, finding the girls in the Canyon too old for him. Cid had, luckily, given us one of the slower, crappier, and older airships, giving me more time to finish Vinnie's present. The real present was done, I was just finishing Part Two, just to add a bit of ninjaness.

"Yuffie?" Vincent asked through the door.

Cripes, I didn't even hear him. I quickly tossed what I had been working on into the bathroom before calling back through the door. "Yes?"

"We are almost there. Nanaki sent me to inform you."

"Crap." I muttered under my breath. I hadn't finished working on the present, and after I was done, I still had to wrap it! I guess I could finish it in the ba-wait, no, I have a better idea.

"Yuffie? Are you alright?" Vincent asked from behind the door.

"Er…bleargh…I really don't feel like talking now, Vincent. Do you think you could go tell Red to slow the airship down? I'm feeling really sick…Bleargh…" And I'll have more time to finish my present! Score for the Great Ninja Yuffie!

He didn't respond, but I could hear the _swish_ of his cloak as he walked back to the bridge. I let out a sigh of relief as I got the present from the bathroom and got back to work.

xXxXx

Finally! I finished both presents and they're safely tucked into a secret pocket of my bag. Vincent glanced at me suspiciously, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what we're planning. Oh, by the way, we just got to the bar, so we're off that Leviathan-forsaken airship! Not that I got airsick (the magic of disgusting pills), but still.

"Yuffie! Red! Vincent! Welcome back! Red, I haven't seen you in forever! We have a lot of catching up to do! Come upstairs; Denzel and Marlene really want to see you again, especially Marlene."

I must admit, Tifa's a lot sneakier than I give her credit for. Nyuk, nyuk. I have taught her well. "Coming," Red said, grinning.

"Have fun, guys!" I called after them. Smirking, I turned to Vincent. "Well, are you gonna sit down or are you just going to stand around looking gloomy?"

Looking miffed, he stiffly sat down onto a barstool. Hah, I learned the word "miffed" from Tifa the other day when we were talking about Cloud. Anyway, back to Vincent.

"Happy birthday, Vincent!"

"…What?"

"Your birthday, Vince. December 14?"

"…Oh."

"And there's no point in running away. Everybody's coming right now, and we'd just drag you back."

"…"

"Anyway! Do you want to see my present? Of course you do! You know, it was really hard to keep everything a secret! I used lots of my ninja sneakiness making this present."

"…Thanks."

"No prob! Open it, open it!"

"…" Haha, wow, I didn't think he'd be this surprised. I made him a new cloak made out of the brightest patches of cloth I had. I usually use them to sew random stuff onto Cloud's clothes, but I decided to use them for this instead.

"I expect you to wear that on Halloween, Vinnie."

He just nodded dumbly.

"Vince, I'm kidding! The real present is in the folds of the cloak."

Wordlessly, he unfolded the cloak and picked up the present. I bought a tiny picture frame decorated with small rubies attached to a simple silver chain. In the frame was the smallest group picture of AVALANCHE that I could find.

"It's a key chain for you gun, so you have us wherever you go. You can even fight with it on, the glass is bulletproof. Do you like it?"

He just stared at it.

"You don't?" Aww… I thought it was cute…

"Yuffie…"

"Yes?"

"Thanks. I like it."

I grinned and gave him a hug.

**Awww... Aren't they so cute? Please review!**

**hunny-chan**


	12. Chapter 12

**hi everybody... no, i'm not dead... i've been hung over about my grandpa, who died in early February... so i haven't been updating at all recently... sorry about that... so if this chapter seems kinda... sad to you.... sorry... i haven't turned emo... and i'm not doing drugs... so i should be fine after a while... and my updates are going to be at random intervals... it might be the next day... or in 5 months... but hopefully before a month passes... there'll be another chapter...**

Disclaimer: ugh... don't wanna deal with this now...

Ugh… It's my birthday… I just got older by another year. Ugh. I'm 20 now, which means I'll be able to legally drink in a year. Not that I don't already, but hey. Doing things legally is always better than illegally… Not.

I really hope nobody knows today's my birthday. Tifa had always tried to worm it out of me, but if I told her, she'd make me go shopping with her… for a DRESS. Grossness! Waaaaaaaaaaay too breezy down there, if you ask me.

Oh, darn it! I told Vincent, and Tifa said he'd be coming at 7. I looked at the clock. Damn, it was 6:52. I grabbed Oritsuru, pulled on my luverly boots, and rushed out the door.

"Bye, Teef!"

"Wh-Wait! Yuffie, where are you going?"

I scratched my head. I hadn't really thought about this. "Um… Well, I was going to the weapon shop to… uh… buy polish for Oristuru! Yeah! Okay, gotta go, bye!" I rushed through the door, only to run into something.

SMACK!

"Ow…" I rubbed my forehead, and looked up. And who do you think was standing there? Ok, whoever just said "SEPHIROTH!" is COMPLETELY WRONG and needs to go see a psychiatrist.

Anyway, Vincent Valentine was standing in the doorway, staring down at me where I had fallen on my butt. Just my luck. It wasn't even 7 yet! It was… 6:58.

"Ehehe… Hiya, Vinnie! Ya know, I was just on my way to the weapon store, so if you'll excuse me-" He grabbed my arm to prevent me from leaving, and raised an eyebrow. I sighed.

"Fine. Tifa, I'm taking Vince with me."

"Okay, have fun!" Tifa went back to washing the dishes.

I sighed again, and took Vinnie's claw. I decided to drag- er, accompany- him to the park instead.

"Weren't you going to the weapon store?" he asked.

"Yeah, well, I'm not."

"…"

"Shut up." I said tiredly. "You lie all the time."

"…"

"That's only cuz you never talk. If you talked, I bet you would lie all the time."

"…"

"Ah, shut it, ya old fart. Well, what did you want?"

Vincent looked at me like I was the dumbest person on Gaia.

"Don't give me that look! I know what day it is!"

He just looked at me impassively, and reached into his cloak. He brought out a box wrapped in plain wrapping paper with a red ribbon on top.

I snorted. "Figures it'd be red. Thanks."

I took of the wrapping and uncovered a cardboard box. I opened it, and inside it lay Cerberus' keychain.

I'm pretty sure my mouth was wide open in shock. Cerberus meant a LOT to him. He never let anyone touch it, not even Shelke.

"…"

He shifted uncomfortably after about 5 minutes of me gawking at the keychain, and I snapped back to reality.

"Oh my gawd. Vincent! This is…" I stopped, trying to find a good word. "AWESOME!" I grinned and pounced on him.

He shifted again, but he didn't try to escape the hug.

"…"

"Well, I know I gave you one! But you didn't have to give me one back!"

"…"

"True, I wouldn't know where to keep it, either. But still! Vinnie, I love it! It's the best present anyone's ever given me."

I could have sworn he smiled. And that just made it all the better.

But, my grin began to fade a bit as I remembered something that happened on my 7th birthday that changed the way I would look at the world for a very long time. Vinnie seemed to sense it, and pulled back to look at me. I quickly turned away so he couldn't see my face.

"…?"

"Vinnie, I have to go somewhere. You can come if you wanna, it doesn't really matter."

"…?" I could tell he was confused by the tone of my voice. I smiled bitterly, and walked towards the trees, with him following with a lot of unsaid questions hanging in the air.

**told you it was gonna be melancholy... i'll try to keep it as cheerful as i possibly can... sorry about that... please review...**

**hunny-chan**


	13. Chapter 13

**this chapter's kinda short, but it's also kinda sad. it'll get happier next chapter, i promise. uniFsky, you are definitely my favorite reviewer in the world. very insightful, too.**

Disclaimer: no way in hell I own FF. don't we all wish we did...

We've been walking for half an hour and we've finally made it to the pretty, secluded lake that was near Kalm, but was also unmapped. Vincent didn't look surprised, but it kinda felt like he was.

"So, do you like it? This here's my little refuge."

He stared at the lake, and turned to look at me.

"…?"

"I found it before I met you guys. I _was_ walking the world a _long_ time before you guys ever decided to save it. Anyway, I put it on my map, and I've been coming here ever since."

"…?"

"Usually, I only come here on birthdays, but occasionally, I just come for the heck of it."

"Why?" I knew he was asking about the birthday reference.

"Well… In Wutai, they place the coffins of the dead into water, such as ponds or lakes, so that even in death they can be connected to Leviathan. I come here cuz this place looks a lot like the lake where they put my mom's coffin into. And cuz I'm not going back to Wutai anytime soon, I just come here instead." He could tell that there was something else behind it. Something bigger than that.

I sighed. "Vincent, you know how Sephiroth killed my mom in the Wutai war?"

"…Yes."

"Well, on my seventh birthday, Shinra launched the final attack against Wutai. They invaded the city, and my mom fought the general himself to the death. I think they still have her battle outfit in her room." I turned around and said, "So, you see, Vinnie, this is the reason I don't celebrate my birthday."

_It hurts too much._

We kinda just stood there for a while, looking at the lake. Suddenly, he pulled me into a hug. That was when I tasted salty water, and I realized that they were my tears. He bent down and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You had nothing to do with it. Anyway, I'm the one who should be sorry for staining your shirt." I tried to pull away, but he just pulled me back again. It was nice, leaning into him. He was big and warm and he smelled like gunpowder.

After a couple of minutes, we started walking back to the bar.

**please review. and when you review, if you happen to think up a name for a guy that starts with a Y, put that in your review as well, please.**

**hunny-chan**


	14. Chapter 14

**hello everybody. sorry about the really late update. lots of end of the year essays, projects, etc. you probably understand. well, on with the chappie!**

Disclaimer: This thing is stupid, so let's just get on with the thing.

I'm super annoyed.

There's nothing to do but help Tifa wash the dishes. Which, by the way, a ninja princess SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DO. But, like I said before, there's nothing to do. All the T.V. channels are crap. All there is are lame shows like the Food Channel and the daily Midgar News. Not to mention Tellitubbies. *shudder*

Reeve doesn't have any missions handy either. All the missions he had were lame tasks he had already given to his low-ranking soldiers. He's still reconstructing Midgar, but I wouldn't dirty my beautiful, delicate hands with building houses. Okay, maybe I would, but I digress.

You'd think I'd be bored, not annoyed, but I'm so bored that it's annoying me. Which doesn't really make sense.

…Hey, my phone's ringing.

"Hello?"

"Yuffie?"

"…Hi, Dad."

"Can you come to Wutai right now?"

"…It takes one day to get there by airship and five days by boat. And I'm pretty sure Tifa doesn't secretly have a beam-me-up-Scotty teleportation thingy hidden in the attic. What do you think, old fart?!"

"Don't talk back to your elders, puny child! I require some assistance here, and I don't wish the advisors to know. Can you come as quickly as possible?"

"…Wait, does this mean I get blackmail material?"

"Well… I suppose…"

"I'll be there as fast as I can."

"You are welcome to bring one of your friends if you like. Just hurry up!" *click*

Bring a friend? Hmm… Who should I bring? I know, I'll ask Vincent! Lemme call his PHS.

"…Hello?"

"Hiya, Vince. Meet me tonight outside of Kalm at 6:00 PM, 'kay? See you then!" *click* And if he doesn't come, I'll have to hunt him down and kick him in the nuts. Well, time to call Cid.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Shera, it's Yuffie. Can I talk to Cid?"

"Sure, hold on."

"Thanks."

"Hey, brat."

"Hey, old geezer. D'you think you can come to Kalm at about 6 today? Me 'n' Vincent need a ride to Wutai."

"Shit, Shera was gonna make steak tonight! She makes a damn good steak."

"Then ask her to make you one and bring it with you, as long as you get here by 6."

Sure, whatever, bye." *click*

Now all I have to do is sit and wait.

I hate waiting.

A looooong time later…

FINALLY! Vince is here and I can see Cid's airship not too far away. I was getting sick of waiting.

"Vinnie! You finally got here! You have no idea what I did during the past 5 hours and 48 minutes. I went through my katas a million times, I tried skipping rocks on the road, heck, I even thought about reading a book! I'm soooo glad you're finally here!"

He did one of those smirk-but-hide-it-under-a-cloak smiles.

"…I see."

"Yeah, so Cid's coming to pick us up."

"…Where are we going?"

"Wutai."

"…?"

"Cause my old man's got some blackmail for me. Nyuk, nyuk."

"…Why am I going?"

"Well, would you leave a young innocent girl like me go on the perilous journey to the far away Wutai by myself?"

"…Yes."

"Vinnie!" Then I smacked him on the arm and he did another smirky smile.

I can tell this is gonna be fun.

**review please!**

**hunny-chan  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey, everyone! Enjoying the summer? I know I am. Even though I'm freezing my butt off (in the summer!), but at least we don't have school! Well, most of us. Anyway, for this next chapter, I, and many other people, have absolutely no clue as to what nationality Square Enix intended Wutai to be, so I will be using a Japanese honorific. But only one. **

**-sama: when referring to someone whose social status is WAAAAY above yours.**

**Putting that aside, enjoy the chapter!**

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII OR the Fanime convention, never have, never will, yadda yadda yadda.

We've finally made it to Wutai and we're off that goddamn ship.

"YES! WE'RE OFF!"

"…"

"Okay, brat, Vincent, I'll be back in 3 days to pick you up. You better be #$^&* finished with you stuff by then, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. Bye, ya old geezer."

"…Goodbye, Cid."

"Bye."

"Okay, Vince! Now it's just us! Time to go find my old man!"

"…"

"But first, let's stop at my house for a bit.

"!!!!!"

"Oh, come on. Don't give me that look. They didn't leave hairballs on your cloak on purpose, all right?"

"………………."

"We won't take long. We just drop some stuff off and then go the damn house. Okay?"

"…Fine."

"That's the spirit!"

xXxXx

"Hey, Vincent, you don't look too good."

"…Cats…"

"Geez, Vinnie, you're so wimpy. It was just some cats."

"…"

"Okay, fine, it was a LOT of cats, but still. Don't wimp out on me now!"

"…"

"Fine, let's go."

xXxXx

"Hello, Yuffie. Hello, Mr. Valentine."

"Hey, you old fart."

"…Hello."

"As you already know, I have to do something that's very urgent, but I can't do it myself. I can't let the advisors know either. And yes, it also counts as blackmail material. Are you willing to help me?"

"Hell, yeah! Anything for blackmail!"

"…"

"I need you to buy me a full-body bunny suit."

"…What the hell?"

"…"

"HAHAHAHAH-mph!"

"I told you, the advisors can't know!"

"Hee hee… okay… haha… aw, grossness…"

"…"

"Stop laughing! It's embarrassing enough without you laughing in my face."

"Can I ask why you're doing this, o dignified one?"

"Well, your aunt Junko blackmailed me into going to this strange thing. She called it the 'Fanime Convention', or something like that."

"Heh."

"…"

"Can you please just get it for me?!"

"Yeah, yeah. When and where do you need it?"

"Can you send it to my house in 2 days at 10:00 AM? Tell the guards that it's a secret package for me."

"Right-o! Me 'n' Vinnie are on it! Let's go Vince!"

"…"

xXxXx

"So this is the store he told us about…"

"…What are you planning?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all. I'm definitely not looking for the most embarrassing bunny costume in the shop. Nyuk, nyuk."

"…"

"Ooh! How about this one! Hot pink, ridiculously large, floppy ears, a flower pattern that makes you want to puke, and the buckteeth! The horrendous, hideous buckteeth. I think I'll buy this one."

"…Evil."

"Did you say something?"

"…No."

"Good. You know, I'm just being thrifty. I mean, this is one of the cheapest ones they have."

"…"

"Hey, cashier! I'm buying this costume! Here's your Gil!"

"H-Hey, wait! You still need to pay 25 more Gil!"

"Leg it, Vincent!"

"…"

xXxXx

"Well, that was certainly thrilling. You doing okay, Vince?"

"…Yes."

"Great! Let's go package this into the ugliest brown box I can find."

"…"

2 days later…

"Step aside! The great Yuffie Kisaragi is coming through!"

"Excuse me, Yuffie-sama, but what is that box you're holding?"

"Oh, this? This is a super-special, super-secret express delivery package I gotta give to that geezer back there."

"Alright, then. You may pass."

"…"

xXxXx

"Hey, old fart!"

"Yuffie! Do you have the package?"

"Of course! Now remember, open that box where no one can see you! We gotta go! Bye!"

"…"

Heh… I hope he opens the bo-

"YUFIEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

Well then, I guess he did. Nyuk, nyuk.

**So, did you like it? Review and tell me what you think! And the thing about the Fanime convention WAS PURELY FOR HUMOR PURPOSES ONLY. Please don't take offense.**

**hunny-chan  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**Yayyyy! I finally made it back home. I just got back from a whole month of summer camp. It was HELLISHLY HOT down in south CA. The AC was broken too... T_T But I made it back in one piece, so everything's good. To compensate for the really late update, I'll update again tomorrow. But it'll just be short and fluffy, like this chapter. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything FF related. If I did, I would rip off the heads of the people who completely WIMPIFIED Reno in Advent Children.

Well, we've made it back from Wutai, and now we're in Kalm, chilling in the bar. Gosh, I love pineapple juice. Pineapple juice is, like, amazing. It sucks though, because the only place they sell pineapple juice is Costa del Sol. Good thing I have a bartender for a friend, so there's always a full stock of pineapple juice in the fridge.

Vincent decided to drink some tomato juice. Which I think is totally gross. Tomatoes are sooooooooo gross.

"Hey, Vinnie?"

"...?"

"You know, when you drink tomato juice, you look more like a vampire."

"..."

"Tomatoes are so gross. It's really gross when people eat them raw."

"...I like raw tomatoes."

"Ewww..."

We sat a little while longer, drinking our juice.

"Hey, Vinnie?"

"...?"

"Do you drink alcohol?"

"...Sometimes."

"Oh."

"...I drink vodka more than beer, though."

"Ohhhh... Well, I've heard that vodka with fruit juice is good."

"...It is."

"Maybe I should try it. I mean, there's probably a whole bunch of vodka in the cupboard."

"...Yuffie."

"What?"

"...You're still underage."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"...Yuffie."

"Fine, fine! Don't give me that look!"

"..." He got up to get more juice.

"Hey, Vinnie?"

"...?"

"Don't get more tomato juice."

"...Why not?"

"Cause you should get pineapple juice instead."

"...Why?"

"Because it's WAY better than tomato juice."

"...Fine." He washed his cup and got some pineapple juice.

"So... How is it?"

"It's... good."

"Better than tomato juice?"

"Better than tomato juice."

"MUAHAHAHA!!! I have converted thee!"

"..."

"You wanna get some more?"

"...Yes."

2 hours later...

"Hey, Tifa."

"...Hello."

"WHERE DID ALL THE PINEAPPLE JUICE GO?!"

**So that's it. Review?**

**hunny-chan  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**This is my promised update! Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Ehhh... It's really, really hot... Me 'n' Vincent are currently in Gongaga doing a mission for Reeve. He wanted us to do some mapping of the area for some reason or another.

*flashback*

"Hey, Yuffie, Vincent. Thanks for coming on such short notice. I have a mission for you two. Lemme brief you guys really quickly.

"You guys will be going to Gongaga to map some of the surroundings, especially the outskirts of town. You'll be doing this because I've been thinking about building a WRO base there. The only places without a WRO base are Gongaga, Mideel, and Wutai. I plan on building bases in these cities. That is, if they let me." Insert sneaky, furtive glance at me here.

"The answer is no, Reeve, unless you convince me otherwise. I don't want a strange Edge-esque building completely sticking out in my hometown. Of course, it's completely fine if nobody can see it from any point in Wutai, including the Da Chao Mountains. Which will make it very, very far from Wutai and a complete waste of money, so I advise against it."

"Very eloquently put, Yuffie."

"Of course. I can talk in adult-speak if I really want to, ya know."

"What if I make the design oriental?"

"Hmmm... You just may have yourself a deal."

"Good. Anyways, I will send you there with one of Cid's pilots. Come back when you're done. Oh, and don't forget to bring lots of sunscreen and drink lots of water. It's gotten a lot hotter since Meteor."

"I'm sure Vinnie and me'll be fine. Right?"

"..."

*end flashback*

"Oh my GAWD, it's soooo hot..."

"...Yuffie."

"It's only been my 15th break!"

"...Yuffie."

"Fine. Only after you take a water break, though."

"...I don't need one."

"Yes, you do."

"...Fine."

"Sure wish we had some pineapple juice. It's a shame we don't have time to buy some."

"..."

"Well, Vince, our break's over! Get your lazy ass into gear!"

"..."

Several days later...

"Whew, we're finally done. Aren't you glad to be going back where it's not blazing hot?"

"..."

"Yeah, me too. How many bottles of water d'you reckon we drank?"

"...I drank 24 and you drank 79."

"Hey!! Don't give me that look! I took your water bottles because you said you didn't need them!"

"...I did most of the work."

"Well, hey, I'm a princess!"

"..."

**Review!**

**hunny-chan**


	18. Chapter 18

**Heyyyy, wassup everyone! Wow, I can't remember the last time I updated! Ah well, beginning of a new school year and all. It's almost Halloween! Candyyyyy~~~ Well, enjoy the chapter!**

Disclaimer: nope, nope, nope, nope...

It's almost Halloween! I'm so excited! Tifa and Cloud are planning a GINORMOUS party this year! I'm REALLY EXCITED! But that brings up an important question. What am I going to use for a costume this year?! Last year I was Leviathan. It was really funny, because I had a really, really long tail that I used to whack people with, and I almost got it confiscated by Tifa. Hmmm.... Maybe I should ask Vincent. Being all dark and gloomy should give him some really good Halloween costume ideas!

"Hey, Vince!"

"..."

"What do you think I should be for Halloween?"

"... A ninja."

"... Vinnie, that's really unoriginal."

"... A pirate."

"NO. NEVER IN MY LIFE."

"... You don't need a costume. You would scare plenty of people away."

"VINNIE! That's not nice at all!"

"..."

"Fine, we don't have to think about my costume. We should think about your costume instead! What are you going to wear?"

"... Nothing."

"WHAT?! Vince, you can't go out in public naked! There's gonna be kids out there!"

"... I meant to say I wasn't dressing up."

"Oh. That's disappointing."

"..."

"Well, you don't really need to. You're plenty scary enough."

"... Thanks."

"No prob! Any time. But I still think you need a costume."

"..."

"Hey, you could dress up as Sephiroth!"

"... I don't think Cloud would like that."

"Pshaw! Who cares what Chocobo-butt thinks?"

"... I do."

"Well, I guess I wouldn't want a giant sword misplaced in my stomach either."

"..."

"Okay, so the Sephy costume is out. What else is there?"

"..."

"I know! We should dress you up as a chocobo!"

"... I think not."

"Don't be such a party pooper! Maybe you should just dress up as a vampire. Makes everything much simpler."

"..."

"Oh, come on, Vincent! I could've forced you into a banana costume!"

"... Touche."

"Now we're back to what I should wear for the party."

"..."

"I'VE GOT IT! Muahaha...."

"...?"

**Review!**

**hunny-chan**


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